An Amazing Journey ~
Yesterday we celebrated our youngest child Connor, as he was promoted into middle school. I am amazed and completely in AWE when I look back on the past 11 years since his diagnosis of Autism. Yes, there was struggle, heartache, discomfort, tantrums, no language, biting, hitting, great frustration on his part and mine, a feeling of dread that would overcome me at the thought of getting up in the morning.
I could not imagine living my life like that forever. So much so, I was not certain I was willing to continue living if that was how life would be ~ I could not find hope from other fellow parents with children with Autism. Therapies, yes, many, many therapies. Were we supposed to go into financial ruin in hopes something might work?
When I made the decision that I wanted to live, but I would have to find my own way; I knew there must be something I could do to live a life that felt better, I simply did not know how. I would have to find my own way……….and I did ~
As Connor received his certificate walking up the aisle unassisted or shadowed by an aide, shaking the hands of his teacher and all of the school officials, walking up on stage by himself, standing there calmly yet excited at his accomplishment, my heart swelled with so much joy it felt as though it might burst. We accomplished this moment together, I did not know the way back then but I would often whisper gently to Connor we would find the way. I wrote lists of gratitude and positive aspects about Everything in my life, even those little moments that may seem like nothing meant everything. I took an inner journey that continues to this day and yesterday I saw and felt with everything that I am, ALL that I have become ~ I paved a new path for myself. I chose a road full of ease and flow, calm and patience, allowing a gentleness for myself and our son, embracing my son for everything he is, even a so-called disability and it is Beautiful ~
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