The Preferred Parent ~
Sometimes it was so obvious Connor did not prefer my darling husband and wonderful dad to ALL of our children, my husband would simply back off. He is tough guy, but I am certain his feelings were hurt and he simply never displayed it. However, we did not approach any of this by pushing against our strong willed child, Eric simply followed my lead and ‘allowed’ me to do whatever needed to be done.
We had/have a mantra in our home for ease and flow, peace and calm, so whatever action or inaction made that available to us all, we followed that. Now, one would think well, if my husband took a step back, he wouldn’t have a relationship with our son? However, that is not true. As Eric took a step back, allowing me to do what needed to be done for the common theme for our family, Connor began to warm up to his daddy, slowly. Then one summer, we purchased a large above ground pool since Connor’s swimming skills were incredible. My husband loved/loves to play in the pool as well. That summer in our pool, Connor and Eric developed a wonderful relationship. It was not what my husband thought it would look as he dreamed of his father/son relationship, but it blossomed.
To this day, with our two years new, lovely in-ground family pool, when Connor hears my husband is going in the pool or hears my husband jump in with a big splash, Connor runs to be out there with him. I am still Connor’s preferred parent for most things, I think it is natural though, I am the stay at home parent, I have the softer touch for everyday things. Eric and Connor share a special bond with each other. They still butt heads, but even if Autism was not in our life, Connor and Eric are very much alike in the way they tease, rile each other and their incredibly similar personalities, they might butt heads no matter what! ;0)
Side note: Just this morning as Connor was helping me make coffee for my husband before he left for work, Connor said, “You’re awesome dad!” Oh, I wish you could have seen my darling husband beam with love for our son ~
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