Removing Judgement ~
When I was a child, I would hear an occasional adult speaking about others in a negative way, although I did not recognize that was what was happening, I simply took what adults said as truth, after all, I learned to obey, to be seen and not heard.
I remember having dinner one night at my neighbor’s home. The kids were sitting at the ‘kids table’ while the adults, my friends parents and her grandparents sat nearby at the dining room table. To my surprise my friends mother began speaking of her cousin in such a negative way, I felt incredibly uncomfortable. Part of the reason for my discomfort was that I knew this person. She was the mother of another very good friend of mine and I knew what was being said was not correct and it was so unkind, especially because I loved and adored this other family. It felt like my childhood bubble of thinking everyone in the world, especially those I went to church with was supposed to be kind and loving, had just burst. It made me wonder why, when my friends mom knew very well the relationship I had with this other family, her own cousin, why would she say anything in front of me? Was it so I would ‘tattle’? Or to see if I would? Or did she simply forget who else was in the room? Was she trying to stir up trouble with me in the middle? At that time, I was very hurt by the words spoken by my friends mother and I never felt comfortable around her family again.
I spoke with my mom about this and she reminded me that this particular lady, often spoke of others in this way, full of judgement, negativity and she seemed to enjoy stirring up trouble for many, pitting others against each other. My mom reminded me that I knew this other family very well and she knew I enjoyed them very much and focus on that. I did not realize it then but I was practicing Law of Attraction and Positive Thought at that time.
It took a while for me to get over the nastiness I heard that evening, I had never experienced that level of discomfort before and I did wonder if I should tell this other family what was said but that would have only caused more chaos with me in the middle. I appreciate that I can see clearly now as an adult, when I remember this negative, judgemental woman, she was incredibly insecure. Always trying to ‘keep up with the Jones”, never having a kind word to say about anyone, trying to create chaos for others. I also appreciate that it is her choice to be this way.
I learned everyone certainly has their own opinions and that if their goal is to create chaos, it is their choice to live in that world, in that energy, within that vibration. As time went on I also saw Law of Attraction at work, I saw her world continue to become more negative, more uncomfortable until my family moved away from that town.
We always have a choice in our thoughts, in the words we speak and in the activities we choose to engage in. Sometimes when you are upset with anyone, it may feel better to lash out, to express your discomfort but then be done with it. It is important to remember that when you contribute to negativity, it does not hurt the person you are trying to hurt, it only hurts you. When you are negative it only adds to chaos within your world. Sometimes it is better to simply turn inward, asking yourself what it is you prefer from this situation you just witnessed and begin to focus in the direction of those thoughts or desires. Each one of us has a choice to be made when we bump up against anything or anyone that seems negative. Rather than becoming upset, simply appreciate the opportunity to clarify your new-found desire. Each interaction we have with another is a co-creating process. It is simply the opportunity to create the world we want to live in, the world we desire living in. I choose a world where there is ease, flow, calm and truly nice people ~ A world without judgement.