Tough love is a human condition ~
The only reason we want anything is because we believe we will feel better once we have it, do it or be it. When we do not allow ourselves to feel better no matter what we are observing we will not feel good. When another is causing us discomfort, pain or some form of what we perceive as abuse which causes a negative emotion within us, we believe if we can control the situation or another person we will feel better. The reason for your discomfort is about you, not about the behavior of another person. No matter how hard you may try, you cannot control another. You can make an attempt and possibly, temporarily control someone or something but ultimately you cannot and when you try, you are actually amplifying an unwanted result. By the time one feels they must use tough love to such an extreme, both parties are far from alignment with their inner beings which is why each person feels such great discomfort.
When someone is causing discomfort within you, mild to extreme if you can stop for a moment and recognize the negative emotion within, understanding that you do want to feel better, feeling better is a natural way of being, you can in that moment begin to shift how you are feeling. In your alignment, in the state of feeling better, you are no longer a vibrational match to the discomfort you were feeling in their presence. It is your alignment that is necessary not theirs so you can feel better. As you tend to your own alignment, you no longer need anyone else to act or behave differently in order to feel better. You have that power within.