Ineffable ~

in·ef·fa·ble: Incapable of being expressed; indescribable or unutterable.

I was moved beyond words as I am every single day living my life, between my son Connor, diagnosed with Awetism in 2001, incredible children I visit with, hear about or have the pleasure of being in contact with in so many ways and their parents, life continues to show me the brilliance of these human beings. The bigness of who they are and the miracles that continue to show up for those willing to ‘see’. Last night my family and I watched the pilot for a new series called ‘Touch’. I am in no way affiliated with the show or anyone in it, simply an observer and a parent of one of these magnificent beings diagnosed with what many call Autism. Although there were differences between Connor and the little boy in the show, as there are differences in all of us, I was exhilarated to see this child portrayed in this light, sharing his brilliance with those willing to ‘see’.

Our son Connor has expressed what many would call miracles for much of his life. For a long time, we thought it was a fluke. We were uncertain if what we were experiencing was in fact real. We were realists, we tried to make sense of all things, we were told our son was disordered and needed to be fixed and we set about trying to fix him. And yet this so-called disordered child was showing us examples of his brilliance, his gifts, a way of being…..that made us want to be more like him. How is that? How can someone deemed typical by all of society she has come into contact with, desire to be more like her so-called disordered son? Or maybe, just maybe he is not disordered? Different yes. Different from what is considered the norm? Definitely but the word ineffable comes to my mind when I think of this child.

Although at one time life did not feel as fun dealing with autism, doctors appointments, therapy, taking into account what others thought outside of my family circle and friends. When I came back into my power, feeling my way back into being, life became more exhilarating to be certain. When I came to understand believing is seeing, that miracles are a natural course of life and all we need to do is be willing to see them, observe them and appreciate them and that they are to be shared with others so they too will come to the understanding that life is supposed to be wonderful for all. I became willing to be a part of this movement, I stepped into who I really am, expressing the love that I am, it is my hope each and everyone I come into contact with will come to see and feel and know their own brilliance. The window only needs to be open a crack for the light to stream in! And now, to see a pilot program of a soon to be television series showing the brilliance of one child diagnosed with awetism and his dad willing to see and feel and know there is more to this child than meets the eye…….ineffable indeed.

*a very special Thank you to Jerry Hicks for being the one to first I had ever heard use this word ineffable which I love and adore. It describes my life completely.


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