It is time to listen ~

As many know, we have a child diagnosed with autism, something I have written about and have become passionate about, a topic that has truly transformed my life on many levels and continues to fascinate me. I have gone from living a life of a fairy tale, to the depths of depression and despair including the momentary contemplation of taking my own life due to feeling completely powerless. I have triumphed in walking a journey of self discovery including coming to complete appreciation for the struggle I went through and for that which is called autism and continue to learn from Connor and many others by leaps and bounds. I have come to call it Awetism because this child of ours has been my most profound teacher in this life experience thus far, this little boy with little to no language at one time is my teacher, he is a facilitator of remembering, reminding me of the powerful being I am, we all are. He has taught me patience, compassion, ease, flow, allowing, unconditional love and a new way of being once I was willing to become his student.

I have the pleasure of meeting so many wonderful people with various feelings about autism, I seem to be able to recognize where they are along the emotional scale no matter what stage of discomfort they are in because I have experienced it all. What I wanted to share today was the fact that you get what you think about whether you want it or not. We do not have control over what comes into our lives, such as an experience like autism but we do have full control over how to feel about it and then how to move forward. I met a wonderful mom yesterday who was adamant in her stance that ‘autism sucks’ ‘having a child with autism sucks’ and ‘she wouldn’t wish autism on her worst enemy’. I have been there, done that, felt that and there are moments in my life now being beautifully human, I may feel those feelings occasionally. Yet I am fully aware that it is not my job to change anyone elses mind nor can I, I can only plant seeds of possibilities and live by example with the transformation we have experienced in our family.

“I am here, and I will patiently wait for you to put aside all your preconceived notions until you absolutely fall in love with me; and when you do, you will be loving YOU.” ~ Our Children

What I notice however is, when I view autism from the stance that it sucks, when I focus on the struggle, when I worry about the future, not only do I experience more struggle, more worry but Connor exhibits more negative behaviors as well. The more I focus on my own negative emotions over autism or any subject, the more Connor mirrors my discomfort beautifully which then creates more discomfort for our entire family. However, when I find ease in the moment, when I allow myself to breathe with ease, when I relax my shoulders or approach Connor with a calm and neutral tone, it smooths and soothes all of us. We are so closely connected to each other, so much more than we can see with our physical eyes, so much more than we can hear, sense or touch. Which is why it has become my knowing, the reason so many of these incredible children are coming forth is not because something has gone wrong. I personally do not believe it is because vaccines created autism although I do believe it has exacerbated things, simply because these children are a purer form of human and are unable to disperse the toxins. These children are coming forth to teach all of us a new way of BEing if we are willing to listen. Our children are hardwired to not give a rip about what anyone else thinks, to be so in alignment with their inner being, their source or soul when you try to demand anything other than alignment or authenticity you meet up with their negative behaviors.

When we are willing to become their students, to appreciate more, to be in the moment, to become more authentic, when we become willing to say what we mean and mean what we say, these kids will begin to open up more to us. When we begin to understand we have the ability to create in our life experience and we create with the thoughts we think and the beauty in all of this is free will. We can become their students or not, no judgment from them or we can begin to follow their lead, appreciating the little things in life, enjoy life more, appreciate more, become more authentic not for them but for us. Our children care more about us knowing and understanding how we are feeling and how it affects us. When we become willing to see, feel and know true unconditional love, when we become the frequency of love, tuning our ‘radio signal’ if you will to unconditional love not just for them but for ourselves we will truly be living a life that is ineffable, beyond words ~


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