Why did that cause such discomfort within?

I have the pleasure of meeting so many wonderful people who teach me more than I could ever teach them or facilitate an opportunity for them to remember their own brilliance, such a wonderful energy exchange. Parents, caregivers, teachers, aides and therapist of those diagnosed with autism/awetism, ADD, ADHD, sensory difficulties, those who do not ‘fit’ into a medical diagnosis or what I lovingly ‘see’ as energetically sensitive children. All of these well-meaning people are all on wonderful paths all of them ranging in various degrees of experience within their own lives, I appreciate the variety in all of it, that after all is exactly what life is all about. A fellow parent made a statement about a difficulty her child was having that ripped through me and when I heard it, I felt such negative emotion, such physical and emotional discomfort that I was truly taken off guard at my own discomfort. This was not my child she was speaking of, it was her child. She was not upset with her child but what she sees as a disorder, so why, I kept asking myself did this bother me? I allowed this interaction I witnessed to bother me all day and I could not understand why.

My wonderful husband called to check in on my day as we always do a few times a day and he could hear my discomfort in my voice and asked me what was going on? At first I did not want to go into everything, I was trying to ‘fix’ it in my own mind, do what I do and inspire within others to do. With his wonderfully gentle coaxing, I expressed everything I had witnessed and my own discomfort at how I had allowed this to affect me. As he and I discussed the subject near and dear to both of us, this wonderful man of mine, my rock, my soft place to fall, my compass who always reminds me of my direction………. I could feel myself align once again with who I really am as we spoke about all of it and clarity came over me when I understood why I had allowed this to have the effect it did on me.

I was reminded once again of the clarity of my own life, how everything I have experienced brought me to this wonderful juxtaposition, the reason I met this wonderful man at such a young age so long ago, how and why life brought us together, laying a solid foundation for all we have experienced and continue to become. I have been on such a wonderful journey within my life, nothing has taught me more about who I desire being and the direction I desire my life to head than this child who was diagnosed with awetism in 2001. Of course in 2001 I saw AUTISM as a DISORDER, a DISABILITY, a LIFE SENTENCE, I was angry with God and anyone who could not cure him. I thought autism sucked big time and my poor baby has to live this lifetime with a disability……….

Over the past 11 years, I have shifted my perspective to such a degree, THAT was why I felt such discomfort when I heard this parent speak of awetism in such a negative way. It was a wonderful reminder to me of the varying degrees of perception we all have and just because one may not see autism as awetism right now, we all have the ability to shift our focus from a perspective that does not feel good as my dear fellow parent friend spoke so forcefully to one that feels better from within as I have come to perceive. Once I took myself through the process with the help of my wonderful husband, a process I typically take anyone who desires feeling better, I stopped and identified why I felt such discomfort, recognizing the only time we feel negative emotion is because we are seeing a subject differently than the source within us and then we begin to shift our perspective……what a brilliant life experience we continue living. I felt such great discomfort when I heard her speak such harsh words about what she perceived as a disability, as a disorder and hearing her own discomfort at her powerlessness and her perceived powerlessness her son must feel reminded me of the utter powerless feelings I once held within myself……

It is true, if you hold the belief you are powerless, you will continue to experience powerlessness. If you believe your child is powerless, you will continue to witness your child in a continuation of experiences with a lack of power. If you perceive autism or anything else in a negative light, you will for certain continue to experience negativity in all shapes and forms. If you continue to observe your child in great discomfort, you will continue to bump into those who express or mirror your discomfort about what you are experiencing and you will find you and your child mirror one another in your expressions of discomfort or anger. Or dear friends, you can begin to shift your perspective, understanding you have the ability to create within your own reality and it is only how you view or perceive, it is only your vantage point that continues to create discomfort or a zest for life. YOU and only you can shift how you feel about any subject and once you begin to shift how you feel, you become a beacon of light for your child. It is time to remember you are both powerful creators, you and your child and create a life experience that feels wonderful, you are both source energy in a physical body and you are so powerful in your creating, you can create more moments that feel badly or bondage or you can create a truly, powerful, magnificent life experience. It can be done and the choice is ALWAYS yours.

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2 Comments

  1. Thank you so much for your honest comments. As mom of a newly diagnosed son with Aspergers, it is great to hear the shift in thought/feelings about it being a disability or disorder. For me, this is part of a process of grieving that my life/my son’s life may not be as linear as I thought it was going to be. My son has made me a better person, but honestly it still feels heavy and like a disability that affects our entire family. Thanks for the perspective.

    • There is most definitely a grieving process, in fact I had a parent express it being similar to the loss of a child. Although I would even hint to understand this fully because I have never lost a child to death, I understood it because you no longer ‘see’ the possibilities you once did prior to the diagnosis. Rather than planning a funeral, we are scrambling to find therapy and any help for our child. Allowing ourselves to grieve and then moving through that is the key, getting angry, even though some may not encourage it, I do. As long as you eventually move into hope, you are moving in the right direction. Life will look different than you thought you had planned but when you can embrace it, you will have found the key to a truly blissful life. Our children are teaching us how to love unconditionally which means being able to say and mean, ‘child of mine, you do not need to change one bit for me to be happy’, THAT is true freedom. With great love and appreciation for you and your son, Tracie

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