BE the Observer

Many parents upon hearing their child has been labeled with a so-called disorder such as autism or anything else for that matter, want to jump into action, therapies, diets, doctors, you name it, I tried it in those early days after Connor’s diagnosis.  After all, this is what we have been taught and trained to do, be action oriented! When anyone wants to know what kind of therapy they can give to their child, I tend to offer something that is not highly touted or recommended…….YET, but it is something near and dear to me because my precious Connor taught me this ‘therapy’. I feel this helped Connor more than anything (after all it was his idea, I will simply a willing participant), creating more ease within our home, it is completely free and we no longer have therapists and aides coming and going through our home, home has become a place of calm and relaxation, not more work for our son. A very personal family decision and one I came to realize I, being mom, could make for our family and for our son.

When your child is interested in something, toys, boxes or anything, simply sit with the intention of being the observer. Allowing your child to take the lead without the actual act needing to be meaningful to you or anyone else in the back of your mind. As a side note, I am not telling anyone not to seek therapy, doctors, etc. Connor does receive therapy within the school setting, I am speaking of something that has created such ease and flow, such peace within our home, I cannot express with enough passion how incredible this has been for us. So, definitely take action, accept and seek therapy within your school settings but within your home, you may decide there are times to simply be an observer.

What I have found for us personally and so many other families is, the simple act of BEing in the moment with your child, without preconceived notions about what ‘needs’ to happen, following his desire, his interest and then if it feels right from within, participating. Again, feel from within, that is how you can tell, ‘feel’ if it is time to act or time to simply witness and observe. I have such appreciation for all of the time I have simply observed Connor, once I ‘got it’ that it did not need to look a certain way or need to be meaningful for me or anyone else but Connor. What he showed me was, he knew what his body, physically, mentally and emotionally needed better than me or any therapist as well-meaning as well are.  He knew the balance within his body, he knew when it was time to simply be still, be quiet and be in the moment. When I got myself and my to-do list out-of-the-way, relaxed and observed this magnificent being who came forth as my child, he rocked my world and changed my own perspective from being a teacher of my child, to being his student and observer.

We are all magnificent creators within this life experience, each and every one of us and no one knows our children better than we do and our children know quite often what is needed and desired to satisfy what their mind and body needs.

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1 Comment

  1. Well said. Being present is one of the most important things any parent can provide his/her child.

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