My Awetism Theory

Yes, I have a theory about autism, of course now I call it awetism because they spelled it wrong! ;0) I did not always ‘see’ awetism in this way, maybe if the name had been spelled correctly, I would have anticipated brilliance at an earlier stage. Early on after Connor’s diagnosis, I suffered from deep depression but out of that came clarity, understanding and a paradigm shift within my life experience that I could have never anticipated. As I remember that time within my life, it was a time of stumbling through my days, some I wanted to go back to bed and either stay there or try again, some were terrible, some did not feel as though they were worth living through and I wanted my old life back, the life I had that did not include autism, in fact, I do not remember days that I could call ‘good’ but then again, I was not at that time looking for ‘good’ either. I wasn’t certain life would ever be good again. But here is what I now know for certain, law of attraction (whether you are aware of it or not) will not give us anything we are not purposefully looking for, so in my inability to see, witness, observe or look for anything good, nothing that felt better was available for me to observe so that I felt better, so nothing that felt better was flowing into my experience. This is something I hear often from newly diagnosed parents and yet, now I see such beauty in my life on a daily basis, I cannot imagine my life without awetism and dare I say, I would not want to live without awetism. Now I look for, search out, it is my dominant intention to look for all things that are pleasing to me, not just in association with awetism but in every single area of my life and the more I search it out, I practice, practice, practice, and the more I practice finding things to appreciate, the more to appreciate is shown to me, the more incredible life BECOMES!

I love speaking to parents of children of all ages diagnosed with awetism but I love and I am passionate about speaking with parents of newly diagnosed children because, I know they can move through this early time just after diagnosis with such ease and grace, a luxury I had to find for myself through trial and error.

It is my belief, my theory, my understanding along with many other incredible people I have the pleasure of knowing, this population is here for a greater purpose and they are not disordered, as many believe. There is a general consensus this population is disabled, disordered, there is something wrong with them and I am here to say, there is everything right with them!

This population reflects back around to their environment with great clarity, so while mom or dad, caregiver or teacher thinks, feels or believes they are disordered, these children will show you a disordered side of themselves. By the same token if you believe within they are brilliant, wise and incredible, they will show you their brilliant side to them.

These children demand authenticity, if you are not authentic with them from within, meaning you are unsure, uncertain or try to put on airs, they will not respond in a way that is pleasing to you. I used to think it was hysterical when one of Connor’s teachers mentioned she would use Connor to test the skill of her aides within the classroom. Those who were uncertain about their own skill as an aide, could not get Connor to do what he was asked to do. He knew their insecurities, he knew their uncertainties, he sensed their hesitation. I now have the understanding, Connor can read or sense energy or vibration, we all can and do but it is heightened within these children. When I interact with Connor, I know I must be in a space where I am present. I cannot have my mind wandering two hours ahead about all of my other duties as mom and wife, I must be in the now moment with Connor as I interact with him. If I am not, he will always reflect back to me that I am not by either a negative behavior, which will snap me right back into the now to deal with him, which is actually him refocusing me or he will simply not move forward with what I desire him to be doing i.e. getting dressed, ready for school, ready to go out etc.. He will stand firmly in his now, until I ‘get’ what I should be doing, by BEing in the present moment. And I must say, at this stage in our lives it looks very different from when it did several years ago before I fully understood this, mom understands with greater ease than I did years ago.

Several years ago, before I fully understood Connor’s desire for me to ‘BE’ present, when Connor sensed I was not present, he would have a negative behavior which would stop all of my motion forward so that I can, come back to the now to ‘deal’ with him. But what his desire actually was, for me to understand I was not being present in my now, and being present in my now is where life is at! Our children want to give us the gift of Being, seeing, feeling and knowing we are present in our NOW. Not what we have to do two hours from now, or a day from now or next week, not what happened yesterday or when we were 5, they want us to have the awareness, the presence of being to experience our NOW moment because ‘this’ is where life is, in the present moment. Once I got it, once I understood what the ‘behavior/delay’ meant, everything flowed with ease. The behaviors of our children rarely mean what we think they do, they are always purposeful. So now, when I am ahead by a few hours within my mind, or thinking about what happened earlier that day, Connor does not have a huge behavioral issue, it is slight resistance that I can feel from him which then allows me to re-center or re-focus, collect myself up into my ‘now’ moment.

This population is demanding us to be present, to be authentic, and they desire us to know we have the full ability to be happy in any given moment. They are not desiring any of this for them, they want us to know we have the ability, we have the capability, we have the awareness to be happy always and we do not need circumstances to change so we can be happy at any given moment. Once we know this, once we understand this fully, once we embody this, we will all see awetism in the way I have come to see it, feel it and know it. It truly is a gift to humanity.

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1 Comment

  1. Well said, and my thoughts, too. 🙂

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