A Glimmer of Hope

When Connor was 3 years old and we were in the throes of autism with a child that seemed uncontrollable and inconsolable, I was in deep despair and depression. I was searching for anyone who had been where we were as a family, anyone who could give me a  glimmer of hope, anyone to say, it is going to be OK.

We took a family vacation to visit my in-laws for a week. Connor could not, did not sleep, he was always in stealth mode which meant we had to have our eyes on him at all times, especially when he was quiet. The week ended up being a weekend and it felt like we would never be able to enjoy life ever again. When we got back, a wonderful girl who worked with Connor told me, “Don’t worry Tracie, next year your vacation will be longer.” I held onto that glimmer of hope she spoke of as if it were a priceless jewel.

Yesterday, we spent the day at Disneyland and we had what can only be described as a glorious day, full of ease, happiness and true joy. Last night as I pondered the day we had with such great appreciation, I thought about Sara, the wonderful girl who offered words of hope. This morning in the grocery store parking lot, there she was.  What a joy to see her just as I had thought so much about her words of hope she offered so many years ago.

If a girl could express her not so new-found passion, it is my profound hope, my desire, my intention to be a beacon, a glimmer of hope for anyone and all who are seeking it. Fairy tales do come true, it can happen to you. Love, Tracie



  1. thank you for the words that somehow
    speak what my heart and soul cannot….the messages and experiences you convey, are appreciated beyond what I can express…thank you!

    • Thank you so much for your comment. I am often very amused how this population makes me feel, and the feelings that do arise are difficult to express with words. Yet this population comes in with difficulty expressing speech and language, for good reason I believe. Without their lack of language we would not need to find a way of engaging them on their terms, yet those who, in the stillness that find their way in, find they move all of us in ways we cannot express with our typical physical abilities. I hope that fully makes sense, it certainly does to the right side of my brain, as soon as I begin checking in with the left side, then I ask if it makes sense! ;o) Love, Tracie

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