Holding the Desire for our Children

Summer2012 048Like any parent, we are completely biased and rightly so about our children. I recently shared lovely news about one of our kids and while I do not want to diminish how wonderful he truly is, heart and soul, I did not feel as though I could take the credit fully. I recognize this sounds odd but there is something here I would like to write and express and see where it takes me, us….

Our youngest child Connor, diagnosed with autism was/is and continues to be the catalyst for my awakening, (actually ALL of life is orchestrating everything beautifully). Prior to his diagnosis, subsequent teachings and lessons, he taught me how to become mindful in all areas of my life. Finding my own feelings and desires, rather than those that were placed on me intentionally or unintentionally, whether they were having a good day or bad day, by those I came into contact with as I was growing up. Whether they meant to or not, there were certain moments of my life which became touchstones that helped me define the girl and then woman I have become. Who I thought I was, may have actually been statements and labels others had placed on me, I took them on as my own whether they resonated within my being or not.

Out of all of this I have come into the profound awareness, prior to becoming mindful, authentic and more aware, I was creating my life by default, hoping everything would work out well, praying to God, please let it work out well! Understanding many of the statements, labels or things said about me/to me, were not my own truth. I now recognize I create and co-create my own reality with the thoughts I think, the emotions those thoughts carry and I cannot create in someone elses reality; I can influence their reality but I cannot create in it.

With this awareness, when someone mentioned to me, “You must be so proud!” “It is because of you and your husband, he is the way he is!” While we are extremely proud of all of our children and I believe we have given them a wonderful foundation to continue building their life upon, I cannot take full credit, positive or negative for what they do and bring into their life. He too is creating his experience for himself and while I can influence his thoughts and actions, ultimately, I have no control over a child of mine or anyone else for that matter. What I can do is hold a desire for him, for all of our children or anyone we love and adore and stand knowing it so powerfully, they believe it as well. THAT feels wonderful. That is what just clicked into place as I thought and wrote about it.

Stand in your now, with the vision of everything working out well for your children for their highest good, holding the vision so strongly, so powerfully, when they observe you, they “see” it too!

My love and I Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to find this clarity,



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