A deeper understanding
Yesterday, I wrote on Connor’s page about a tantrum Connor had last evening after he tripped and fell in our family room last night. I have no doubt it hurt, although I did not see it happen, I heard him fall. By the time I entered the room, Connor was on the floor with big crocodile tears, he was loud, the energy was intense and as much as we tried to calm him, he was inconsolable. As a parent, we, my husband and I wanted to take away his discomfort just as any parent does when their child is hurt.
What I appreciate about last night is the almost detached feeling I experienced as I observed all of this unfolding. My maternal side wanted to soothe Connor, my soul knew he was inconsolable in that moment, my soul had the upper hand last night unlike ever before and there was a feeling of allowing him to ride out the momentum of energy that had been created. The majority of the family was now in the room, Connor’s sister heard him yelling and came downstairs to see what had happened and even though we all had the best of intentions to soothe Connor, there was too much energy within the room for him to filter, decipher and become calm. I gently redirected Connor into another room where I was able to calm and center myself which created the space for Connor to become calm, centered and balanced as well.
I am very aware of energy, vibration, I am completely fascinated by it, always finding my own balance and eager to learn more, last night allowed me to see it with a deeper understanding. While Connor was so upset, he could not ‘hear’ me, his dad or siblings trying to calm him down. I liken it to him was on a completely different radio station than we were on. His discomfort was all around him, so much so, he was not able to filter and decipher the soothing we all desired for him. Once I removed him from the excess energy within the room, as well-meaning as it is/was, he was then able to filter the discomfort he was feeling.
I so appreciate this deeper understanding within me as I reflect back on times Connor would have a tantrum when we were in public. Not only was he trying to filter, decipher and survive his own discomfort but in his mom’s unaware state of being, I was adding to his discomfort with my own embarrassed energy of being in public with a child that is having a big tantrum. We are all entering a time of great awareness, not just me or a select few, all of us and I appreciate the clarity of life I am living as I find balance each day as a wife, mother and human being. My mindful awareness happens to be coming to me via a son I birthed who happens to have been diagnosed with autism but we are all given moments or circumstances within life to come to greater understanding and awareness, more so than ever in the history of humanity. Here’s to a deeper understanding and the journey home to remembering the LOVE we are!