Many people spend so much of their time thinking and speaking about things they do not like within their life experience. When there is a problem at work, they are thinking about how much they dislike being there, dreading going to work, hating actually being there and when they go home, they speak of everything that has gone wrong, who treats them poorly, making or pleading their case for why they dislike or hate it so much.
Others speak of past relationships gone bad and continue to speak of what their spouse, partner, best friend or parent did wrong, how undervalued or used they felt. And yet speaking of everything that went wrong within the relationship, they are creating a future experience which will match what they are saying and thinking they do not want.
All valid, all true given their reality they are experiencing however, if they desire change, focusing upon the problem must shift to a different point of focus or perspective. By focusing upon what is going wrong or what went wrong, by continuing to share or tell this story over and over and over, they are actually cultivating more of the same within their future reality.
I was once someone who focused on the problem(s) within my life experience, I spoke of the problems, thought about them and did my best to find others who would commiserate with me, to get on my side of the argument, pleading my case to anyone who would listen. This is what I observed and witnessed from others around me growing up, it was the norm and what I thought I had to do to get what I wanted except, I was not happy. I pushed against the problem, I yelled no at everything I did not want in my life simply because I did not want it and I like so many thought, if I say I do not want it, it will go away. From my now perspective, all that I had been doing was actually amplifying, magnifying, making the problem bigger and bringing more of what I did not want, into my life which I now recognize is what culminated into severe depression.
Perhaps the reason we were never told or taught to cultivate joy, which is how we create the lives we so desire living; to focus on and appreciate what is going really well rather than what is going wrong within our lives; to become solution oriented rather than a problem oriented society is because there isn’t any money to be made when people are happy and healthy.
From my perspective, this is changing. More and more people are beginning to desire living a life that is truly and authentically joyful no matter what others may think or believe. How do we do this? One person at a time making the decision they want to live a life that feels better and then taking it moment by moment to begin making a conscious choice or decision to make the shift within themselves. It is a journey within, following what feels best within your own heart and soul, finding and following your truth, what resonates within YOU because without doing so, you feel as if you are being smothered.
The only way to effect change in a way which will be permanently pleasing to you is to first make the decision that you want to feel better. When you begin thinking about something that causes discomfort within you, ask yourself, “is this the direction I desire going or moving toward?” “Will this train of thought serve me and what I desire for myself?” You could enjoy working with 10 people but that one stinker you focus upon in a negative way can and will continue to create more of the same or you could focus upon the 10 people you adore and feel wonderful. Perhaps there are 10 people you do not like and one you adore, you could focus and appreciate the one person and by doing so the other ten people will not be able to stay within your life experience, they will move on, get new jobs, move to another department or simply not work when it is your turn to work. By focusing upon what you DO want and releasing how it has to happen, you allow the Universe to do what it has always done, lovingly support you in all ways. You and only you have lived your life experience, only you know what your deepest desires are and you have the ability to cultivate exactly what you desire in your everyday life experience by focusing upon it, feeling it, becoming excited about it, dreaming it, imagining it. Cultivate your dreams…