Starting with the girl in the mirror!

th (4)There is a lovely girl in my life which in all honesty, I have not always thought was lovely, in fact I admit I struggle to be kind to her simply because I am not a mean or cruel person. Often she can be annoying, she tries too hard to be someone she is not, she has a need to feel important which creates some tension with others in our lives. I could easily point out others feel this way about her but that does not matter or serve me and my relationship with self. I recognize fully she is a lesson of my own I am being offered so that I may clear out my own negative emotions.

I have been asking in prayer for more understanding, I do not wish to feel annoyed with anyone or anything, it is truly not my nature. I recognize I create my own reality and I can choose to focus upon those annoying characteristics (which would create more annoying things/people in my life) or I can turn my attention toward thoughts/feelings that feel better as I ponder them. (Something I know works unequivocally) It has not been easy and at times, because I do not have to deal with her but once per week, I have not taken the time to purposefully direct my thoughts into a better perspective or point of view about her.

Last night, as I was basking my way to sleep, going over all of the things in my life I truly appreciate…it is one of my most favorite times of my day. Something I have done for many years now, appreciation for all of the things I can think of in my life. Because I am remembering I am/we all are so much more than a human being with five senses, when I tune myself to appreciation, I can feel movement within my body, sometimes seeing light, even though it is dark in our bedroom. To my surprise, mid-appreciation, this girl popped into my head. My first thought? What is she doing there?

I recognized moments ago, I was feeling wonderful and then a dip in my energy/vibration/frequency. I had been appreciating for several minutes, so I had tuned myself into a higher vibration/frequency/energy, feeling wonderful, happy and content so I used that moment in time to my advantage. I asked myself why I am having such a difficult time with this girl, who truly is a caring person. In that moment I felt tears burn my eyes and heard from within, “it is because when you gaze upon her, you are not loving you.”

In the moment of hearing, feeling and knowing how I felt about this girl was a reflection of an aspect of me I was not loving, I could viscerally feel energy within my body shift. I knew I had shifted or moved energy within me and I was elated. In that moment, my heart softened as I thought about this young woman. I knew I was in a very different place/space/vibration/frequency concerning this girl, but most importantly me.

From my perspective, this is a time of awakening which means many more people are becoming aware of changes and desire a deeper understanding within themselves. All of us in perfect timing with our own soul, no one person better than another, simply evolution of all things, all beings and it is happening at a fast pace. At times it feels as though I am on a motorway observing cars (thoughts/feelings) come up in order to be released; one by one, sometimes many things at a time to be cleared out and released. As we take the time as I did last night to release, rather than hold on to feelings that do not serve us, we help propel ourselves into better and better and better feeling moments within our lives.

My love, Tracie

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1 Comment

  1. Yes! It’s sometimes unnerving to realize that the people that set our teeth on edge are reflections of a part of ourselves that we dislike and work hard to keep repressed. But recognizing this and becoming free to love that part, transforms it into a channel of grace. Isn’t that awesome?
    I try sometimes to explain this in my women’s groups, but most of the time the response is a blank expression. So nice to hear someone else describe embracing this reality.
    Sometimes the walk is a bit lonely. Blogging has been a lovely gift of finding others on the same journey, who are willing to share honestly. Thanks so much.

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