No Need for a Cure
I stand in my now, amazed at how far I have come in this journey of mine. Our son was diagnosed with autism in May of 2001, although to say I felt as though I were walking through hell sounds very dramatic, it was a very dark period within my life. I was already battling post-partum depression after the birth of our third child. When Connor was diagnosed with a disability, it threw me over the edge. I was looking for relief and death sounded like the relief I was looking for…momentarily. Oh how happy I am my darling husband and three precious children pulled me back like a tether and I decided to stay in this physical body.
The transformation of Tracie, has been a great one, magnificent, brilliant (it is still unfolding) and when I have the pleasure of meeting parents of younger children diagnosed with autism. It allows me to remember where I was yet observe their “now” with broader view.
I had the pleasure of meeting a family with a younger child diagnosed with autism. I listened intently as she shared their experiences. Their desires of family when they got married, how a diagnosis came about, where they thought they were going, I could feel the knot in her stomach tighten (I knew the angst was no longer mine) as she expressed how their dreams had changed. How she just tries to get through a day without falling apart. I felt unconditional love wash over me as I heard and observed where they are in their life and did my best to share this love with her. I shared my views only when she asked me about our story. How I came to understand the perfection of our son Connor, perfectly imperfect but….aren’t we all. I observed the release of emotion come over her as I shared our story. I moved quickly over the areas of discomfort because I no longer desire to linger there and I expressed why. I shared with her the incredible milestones that I appreciate. How our son Connor has become my most profound teacher and how I would not change a single thing about how it all unfolded.
She sat with tears in her eyes; all I could do was flood her with unconditional love and tell her, life may not be how you dreamed but something better is blossoming IF you are able to lift your head long enough to begin to see. To recognize we do not have control over another, we never have…..and the quicker we come recognize this, the more we open ourselves up to the possibilities our children have to offer our soul, our awareness, our hearts. I reminded her how closely connected we all are, like a magnificent tapestry. We may not have all of the answers for the future but we can do our best to see the miracle of this moment. It sounds Pollyanna but what is a happy life? It is a string of happy moments, a string of small miracles we experience within a moment in time. If we begin to live a life in a mindful way of being, cherishing those small miracles, applauding those precious moments, appreciating those moments that fill our hearts and make our hearts SMILE…..my heart smiles more now than when I thought I had it all planned out. When we have many more moments each day where our heart smiles….that was a good day, when we have several good days, it makes a good week. Several weeks makes a great year(s). I call that a successful life.
This population diagnosed with autism, Asperger’s, ADD, ADHD and many other variations on the spectrum or diversity have SO VERY much to offer each of us individually as well as humanity. What if this is why they are here? My life and so many others feel so incredibly blessed by someone diagnosed with a so-called disability, how can you not see a miracle taking place all over the world? Why would we be in need for a cure if our hearts are opening in profound, magnificent ways, unless you are viewing life through a conditional lens or the lens of another? What if our children could say to us, “We got it just right! No need to change me, no need to cure me, let us set about the world and spread unconditional LOVE for all?”
When you can embody this way of being as a parent or mentor, watch and observe this precious child with a so-called disability, you will see their incredible ABILITY!
Embracing you all in unconditional LOVE, Tracie