Please Act Differently…
Please act differently, “so I may feel better”, “won’t be embarrassed by you” or “so others will believe I am the best parent/spouse/co-worker/person/friend in the world”. Do you ask your children, spouse or any other to be and act differently because YOU want to feel good or so others will think highly of you?
Although I do not believe the majority of us would come out and blatantly say “Please change everything about yourself, stop doing all of those quirky things that annoy me, so I can feel good and be happy”. Many of us do say something along those lines to others, give a “look” or express an emotion from within that ripples outward toward our children or others which means the very same thing. If they do not get the message at first, we offer an amplified way of expressing this message. When we ask any other to act or be different so we can feel better, we are practicing conditional love.
When our youngest child was little, his autistic behaviors often resembled a very, very spoiled child. I was exhausted, depressed, embarrassed and barely had the energy to lift my head, never mind going through the motions, trying to make him mind the way I thought children should. His tantrums often led to me apologizing or venting an angry response to a rude bystander our son was annoying.
I knew life had to be different, I must have been looking at everything incorrectly for everything to be this hard on a daily basis, right? EXACTLY!
When I began to change how I view my life, autism, my children, spouse…everything, something within me began to shift profoundly. I began to notice, as I changed or shifted how I viewed everything, rather than needing others to change, which is impossible, suddenly my life began to flow with more ease. No one else had to change so I could feel better, I was the one who held the power to feel better.
It was all up to me, within me, always. You have the ability to shift or change your life if that is what you desire. Life, is not supposed to be so hard everyday. We make it so with the direction we choose to place our focus. Just as we seem to make it so difficult by the direction of our thoughts/focus, with just a few tweaks, we can also begin to shift life in the direction of ease and joy. The choice is ours, it always has been.
My love, unconditionally, Tracie