What is your Secret?
I love it when a question makes me ponder an answer deeply within. I was recently asked, “What is your secret? You are happy, your children are happy, they are such a pleasure AND they are teenagers. You make it look so easy!” The question and statement made me pause and then laugh followed immediately with, “Really”? It makes me smile even now as I contemplate the conversation.
While I admit, we have a lovely life, my husband and I have a loving foundation (we work at it), we produced three incredible children together and while the majority of the time, life is good, there is no secret or recipe for the success in life we have enjoyed thus far. Perhaps there is however, many ingredients we add to the mix, omitting those things that no longer work, adding things that we prefer along the way. Constantly, consistently and consciously fine-tuning our individual and shared experience.
No family is just alike, no two people are exactly the same, not one person I know has a “perfect” life. We are always desiring more, becoming more, a constant evolution or becoming in our life experience both in physicality and from my perspective, as spiritual beings. Yet, to acknowledge how diverse life is, ups and downs, ebb and flow, perhaps the answer is the recognition of and knowing there is a rhythm to all of life. Knowing when you are not feeling good about life, can you recognize it will get better and once it does, appreciate the heck out of it! Squeeze every single drop of appreciation out of those moments that feel great!
What I do know for certain is, there is a level of respect we as a family share with each other. My darling and I may be the parents, while we do our best to lovingly guide our children, there isn’t an energy of force, dominance or conditions we place upon them. We do not believe in shaming, placing blame or guilt upon them. Having said that, we are not perfect nor do we try to pretend we are in front of our kids. Because I have practiced being authentic with myself, my husband and our children, they can tell when I am not being authentic and more importantly, I can tell when I am not being true within. If I were to try to force or dominate my children who are all teenagers, it would feel off to me and I dare say, if I did, I would be living a very differently life with three teenagers who are now old enough to lash out in very uncomfortable ways. We treat them with the same level of respect we would treat another and in return, we enjoy a life of respectful children.
Our children, every single child, are wise beyond their years whether they are differently abled or not. If we all began to treat our children with the respect they deserve, lovingly guiding them, perhaps we will produce a society of children who are not only respectful but in turn, become respectful adults.
To live a life of unconditional love, this means, not forcing them to be or do anything so that we, as their parents can feel better or because we believe those outside of our family my criticize us. I recognize it is a BIG subject but one well worth contemplating. Parent by parent, child by child, thought by thought, moment by moment, we have the ability to create an individual parent-child experience full of LOVE and RESPECT and that individual experience will radiate and amplify to the ends of the earth.
My love, Tracie