In-JOYing the Ease
At this stage in co-creating family with these four precious human beings, I am feeling so much JOY in the ease that fills our life, most of the time. It is true for me and for many, life becomes so very busy, I often find moving forward without taking time to stop and BE still as the observer, to value the “moment” is a constant balancing act. Our son Connor’s greatest lesson for me has been to recognize and “know” how I feel within, to become balanced and present in each moment which is where we hold our power. It was once incredibly frustrating because I did not/do not always want to stop to recognize how I feel in each moment, it is exhausting and “I don’t have time for that!” In the early days of Autism, Connor would simply reflect outwardly my inward tantrum(s). He would throw tantrums which made my struggle within even more uncomfortable. When I finally understood Connor was simply mirroring his environment i.e., beautifully reflecting my unfocused/unconscious worry about the past or future, our relationship changed. Now, when I get grumpy…hard to believe I know, (^.^) Connor will ask me, “What are you feeling?” He no longer needs to throw a tantrum to get my attention although he may offer this service to another if they are not being mindful while interacting with him.
I recognize I am not in a good place nor am I “present” when I do not want to answer him or I become frustrated at him for asking and yet his constant reminders truly are for my own good. It is only when we know what we are thinking and then feeling can we shift our thoughts/feelings from that of discomfort to what feels better. The better feeling thoughts we choose, (because it is a choice), the better we feel.
Learning to create the life I so desire consciously, a life filled with joy, ease, love, presence and knowing thyself more deeply, the recognition of how you are feeling within IS a necessity. If we wish to change, shift or become happier, withdrawing our thoughts and attention from the past or worries of the future MUST be a priority. We MUST stop thinking those thoughts others placed in our head that do not serve us. Choosing thoughts that feel good to us right now. If you are thinking about the past that does not feel good and moments you cannot change, or worrying about your future which has not happened yet, you are unconsciously creating your future experience that will not be pleasing.
What is a happy life? A string of happy moments. Does that mean life is perfect? No but perfectly imperfect, coming to peace with that is a work in progress but choosing to find happiness in each moment creates more bliss every day. Perhaps the gift of Autism not for just those who live with it daily, perhaps it is a clarion call to way of BEing for ALL!
Yesterday, we celebrated our eldest sons birthday, enjoying dinner out, (something we could not enjoy in the early days of Autism because of possible tantrums) I cherished the ease we all felt. More moments like this please. It most certainly IS possible.
My LOVE, Tracie