There is ALWAYS Hope
I never thought of the stress we dealt with in this way, not just for parents of children with #Autism but all disabilities, for both parents. The lack of sleep, fatigue, not knowing what to do and how to assist our child(ren), uncertainty about the future. The list could certainly go on and on.
We are blessed to be a couple who banned together rather than being ripped apart, many fellow parents/families were not as fortunate, often ending in divorce. If you experienced separation or divorce, it is my perspective, this too is simply part of your own journey. Meant to assist in knowing yourself and your child with greater depth, awareness and understanding.
I still experience some stress, fatigue, lots of fatigue but so happy and in appreciation to have shifted from despair and depression to occasional jammie days where I lower my expectations for everyone, including myself.
I searched and searched for someone to show me how to get through, in a new and different way that did not include feeling depressed, outright despair more often accompanied with the feeling of suffocation, wanting to end my life. Nor did I want to be pessimistic, hateful of and about Autism. (I had heard plenty of what I would experience in our future with regard to Autism, in venomous language from other fellow parents in so-called parent groups)
I am forever grateful to my husband Eric for being with me and recognizing a particular parent support group “was not for us”. I sat in the corner at our first meeting with all of these “seasoned parents of Autism”, feeling the despair that filled the room. Because I was feeling the same despair these other parents were experiencing, I could not recognize the spiral downward I was enduring.
It turns out, I am the one I was looking for all along. Isn’t it this way for all of us, no matter what challenge we are going through in life? We are our own experts in our life. No one, not one other person has walked in your shoes. Our children can and will tell us what they need, even if they do not have speech and language, if we are willing to listen, tune-in and be gentle with them and ourselves.
It isn’t about what you are given but how you focus, shift and perceive. Our son is now 16 years old, such a blessing, his mother’s greatest teacher, my little master. Yes, we still have occasional challenges but they are nothing like what they once were, not only because he has changed and grown but because his mother has changed and grown in incredible ways. I could fret and worry about his future, our future, or I could live in this now moment where everything is right and well in our world. It is my humble perspective, this population as well as many others, are here to change the views of our world, if we are willing to listen. I AM very willing and open to receiving their gifts.
If one child can change my perspective in a broad spectrum of/within life the way this child has, imagine what this population WILL DO for the world.
With great appreciation, Tracie
Here is a link to the article I referred to.