Observing is an Art

389537_444831265553853_1805210454_n  When your child is having a difficult time, are you able to become the observer, rather than adding energy to the moment?

Often when our children express discomfort or tantrum, we shift into reactionary mode which will often amplify the moment.
Rather than moving forward with your energy, adding to the negative energy, take a deep breath, find the calm within your being, it is there waiting for you to access it.
The more ‘you’ practice this calm space within, the more power you have within you to soothe the moment rather than adding chaos to the moment.
As you begin to master your own calm space, your ability to sense your own energy will become fine-tuned and you can lead your child into that calm state of BEing.
My LOVE,
Tracie ~

Becoming a Conscious Parenting

308478_264045476965767_208652244_n  What if becoming a parent isn’t about trying to control another? What if, it isn’t about making your child be and act a certain way? It isn’t about parenting or guiding your children in a way others believe you should parent.

What if parenting from a mindful, balanced, authentic place/space, is an opportunity to really get to know and tune in with our children on deeper levels than any other parenting generation has been privileged to behold?

In doing so, we connect with our innermost BEing, where all knowledge and clarity springs forth for all to see. Experiencing each other, in the most playful, loving ways where defiance becomes nonexistent.

My love, Tracie

Always, Lovingly Supported

holding-hands-daughter-s-mother-33985718     For as long as I can remember, seniors, beginning with my great-grandparents, have held a special place in my heart. I work part-time at a residential, senior living community, they are all dear to me, even the sometimes fussy, cranky ones. (We all have good days and bad)

I have met many and given the type of work/play this is, I have observed their physical lives come to an end. For some, a long, slow release, others, very sudden. All hold a very special place in my heart for as many different reasons as there are stars in the heavens.

One day a couple, about my age, came into the community with their young adult son, I recognized the young man and his mother immediately. I’ve seen them in passing at the high school my children attend. Since I have a child with Autism, I recognized immediately, this young man has Autism as well although he is a little bit older than our Connor.  I was thrilled to see them and eager to find out who they were visiting.

After a short inquiry, she mentioned she was there to assist her dad in moving things out of her grandmother’s apartment. My heart immediately filled with such love for this woman standing in front of me as if I had always known her. “Do you mean, “Mary Smith”? (not her real name) Yes, she said, that is my grandmother. How had I not met her before? I’ve worked at this place for four years, albeit only part-time. I was amazed this “connection” had not been made before.

“Mary Smith” always made me smile. She was always very well put together, often wearing lovely cardigan sets, matching pants and a low but classy heal, pearls, dressed to the nines. Elegant is the perfect word for her. She would walk by my desk on her way to dinner. I would mention how lovely she looked and she ALWAYS either shook her hips or kicked back a leg while holding onto her walker, leaving me with a smile on my face. I never had the opportunity to speak at length with “Mary Smith” because she was hard of hearing, even with a hearing aid(s) in place. Smiles, kind glances and short saucy exchanges were experienced and always left me smiling.

Seeing her granddaughter and her great-grandson who happens to have Autism, in that moment, I knew this was “Mary” showing me/us she is still with us and all around us. We never made the “Autism” connection while she was alive but she made certain the connection was made nonetheless.

This short and sweet connection left me floating. It left me with a knowing, our beloveds are always with us, guiding us, sharing love with us, acting as the “concierge in the sky”. We only need to open our hearts and minds to see the connection.  As the family of my senior friend left the community for the last time, my heart was so full at this lasting connection to “Mary”.

My Love and Appreciation, Tracie

It’s me mom, it’s Connor!!!!

This child is still teaching me and I continue to learn more and more, 3 years later. Every single person who comes into our lives IS here for great purpose whether they are in our lives for a long period of time or short. LOVE, Tracie

traciecarlos

Another lesson in the subtle shifting of energy before moving forward……..

We just got back from one of our summer trips, a wonderful road trip to Oregon and we had a blast. It has been several years since we did a road trip, flying is usually our comfort level at this stage of life but we have such fond, sweet memories of ‘road tripping’ when the children were babies and toddlers when that seemed easier to handle on our own rather than on a plane full of other passengers.

Many of you know it is my perspective, our children diagnosed with autism, have the ability to mirror or amplify the environment around them, this is the case with our youngest child Connor as well. I was reminded of this once again, the day before it was time to pack up the car and head home, all of us were tired…

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She (continues to) Let Go.

11874397_1173689319314434_217202575_o   I just arrived home from a wonderful family vacation in Yosemite National Park. Our eldest son took this photo of me just after I had a long interaction with a beautiful butterfly which danced and circled all around me. Rather than being surprised by this fun interaction, it seemed natural to me a butterfly would want to interact with me, I was utterly and completely blissful and content. I had been playing with our family the past week, taking scenic tours, small hikes, star-gazing every night, exquisite!! Enjoying the company of my husband and three teenagers who are incredible individuals in their own right. It seems times, perhaps moments like this, offer me a perspective to see the perfection in all that I live. Depression, despair, JOY, LOVE and Happiness. The good outweighs any and all discomfort I have ever experienced, I have been at the end of a dark tunnel, unable to find the light. All of that has assisted me in carving out more depth to fill in with more JOY, LOVE and HAPPINESS.

Life seems to be calling all of us on many different levels, (none better than another) to take a step forward, to become consciously aware of what we say and repeat (over and over) to ourselves. To clarify what another speaks of in regard to us and make the choice. Is what they say or what they think of us true? YOU get to decide. What another says, thinks or imposes upon you does not automatically become your truth, unless you give it permission. This poem speaks of “she” but men are equally capable (I encourage all) of deciding how they wish to view themselves and create within their own life. We get to create our life experiences and it is a never-ending process. One you can either embrace and learn to choose how to focus and perceive or allow others to make those choices for you.

With Great Appreciation, Tracie

 

SHE LET GO …. without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of the fear.
She let go of the judgements.
She let go of the opinions swarming around her head.
She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the “right” reasons.
Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask for advice.
She didn’t read a book on how to let go.
She just let go.

She let go of all the memories that held her back.
She let go of all the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of all the planning and all the calculation, about how to do it just right.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A smile came over her face.
A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and moon shone forever more.

Ernest Holmes

There is ALWAYS Hope

1173860_231024567048580_309641868_n  I read an article yesterday comparing a mother’s stress of children with Autism, to those of combat soldiers.

I never thought of the stress we dealt with in this way, not just for parents of children with ‪#‎Autism‬ but all disabilities, for both parents. The lack of sleep, fatigue, not knowing what to do and how to assist our child(ren), uncertainty about the future. The list could certainly go on and on.

We are blessed to be a couple who banned together rather than being ripped apart, many fellow parents/families were not as fortunate, often ending in divorce. If you experienced separation or divorce, it is my perspective, this too is simply part of your own journey. Meant to assist in knowing yourself and your child with greater depth, awareness and understanding.

I still experience some stress, fatigue, lots of fatigue but so happy and in appreciation to have shifted from despair and depression to occasional jammie days where I lower my expectations for everyone, including myself.
I searched and searched for someone to show me how to get through, in a new and different way that did not include feeling depressed, outright despair more often accompanied with the feeling of suffocation, wanting to end my life. Nor did I want to be pessimistic, hateful of and about Autism. (I had heard plenty of what I would experience in our future with regard to Autism, in venomous language from other fellow parents in so-called parent groups)
I am forever grateful to my husband Eric for being with me and recognizing a particular parent support group “was not for us”. I sat in the corner at our first meeting with all of these “seasoned parents of Autism”, feeling the despair that filled the room. Because I was feeling the same despair these other parents were experiencing, I could not recognize the spiral downward I was enduring.

It turns out, I am the one I was looking for all along. Isn’t it this way for all of us, no matter what challenge we are going through in life? We are our own experts in our life. No one, not one other person has walked in your shoes. Our children can and will tell us what they need, even if they do not have speech and language, if we are willing to listen, tune-in and be gentle with them and ourselves.
It isn’t about what you are given but how you focus, shift and perceive. Our son is now 16 years old, such a blessing, his mother’s greatest teacher, my little master. Yes, we still have occasional challenges but they are nothing like what they once were, not only because he has changed and grown but because his mother has changed and grown in incredible ways. I could fret and worry about his future, our future, or I could live in this now moment where everything is right and well in our world.  It is my humble perspective, this population as well as many others, are here to change the views of our world, if we are willing to listen. I AM very willing and open to receiving their gifts.
If one child can change my perspective in a broad spectrum of/within life the way this child has, imagine what this population WILL DO for the world.
With great appreciation, Tracie

Here is a link to the article I referred to.

http://www.disabilityscoop.com/2009/11/10/autism-moms-stress/6121/

It may look different but…

1173860_231024567048580_309641868_n   I dropped off our 15 year old son Connor for Summer school this morning, he was given a label of autism 13 years ago. I cannot express the joy I felt as I watched him “flutter” off to his classroom this morning, I giggled to myself when I realized I looked at his feet as he fluttered, thinking perhaps he wasn’t actually “walking” on the ground. He still flaps his hands on occasion when he is happy and excited, something I feel no need to change. His happiness has such a ripple effect on others. He doesn’t act like a typical 15, almost 16 year old and yet if you take life moment by moment, if you live IN the moment, the joy I experienced observing him until he was out of my sight, one cannot measure. I told him this morning how happy I was, I get to be his mom. All he said in response was, Yes, but, I know he felt my joy and happiness for his willingness to be my boy.

There is so much talk these days about allowing others to live or not live in a way that is pleasing to everyone else. What if, the reason there is such great diversity all over the world IS so each one of us can take information into our being, sort and sift, come to our own conclusions and, at the end of our day, allow others to live their life in a way that is pleasing to them? What if, it is our individual job to focus on what is pleasing to us, while allowing another to find and focus upon what is pleasing to them? In this way, we allow a world to become free from imposing our political or religious views on others.

When I align myself with this way of BEing, I cannot help but feel absolute pure LOVE of God, Spirit, Source, the Universe, All that IS! When I offer thoughts about trying to control others or making others live their lives in a way that is pleasing to me, this way of being gives me great discomfort within. It feels wrong, off, fragmented, I can feel the separation within and yet I cannot help but offer unconditional love to anyone who may be living in this way, still, and feel that their way is correct. Yes, I desire offering unconditional love to all, even if they do not agree with me. I may not always remember in the moment but it is my desire.

Just because the way any other may live their life in a way that looks different from how you choose to live, does not make them wrong, incorrect or inappropriate. I desire a world that allows all others to live in a way that is pleasing to them. What a WONDERFUL world.

EXCLUSIVE: Welcome, Caitlyn Jenner!

Life can be so incredibly difficult, many people wonder why we are here?
What if, we are all born to teach and lead by example, unconditional love?
Some children may be born with different abilities.
Some are born with the desire to eventually fall in love with the same sex when they are adults.
Some may be born to fall in love when they are adults with the opposite sex.
Some are born uncomfortable within their bodies and desire a physical change where they “feel” more complete and comfortable within themselves. Whether it is self love we are lacking and we never learn to love ourselves enough to treat ourselves with love. Or, perhaps we grow up feeling like we should have been born a different gender?
At the heart of all of this, is the need, the God given right for every single human being to be enveloped in unconditional LOVE.
For each person who steps into who they truly are, it feels like more love is amplified for all.
My LOVE, unconditionally, Tracie

May the world learn unconditional LOVE by your example of stepping into who you truly ARE!
YOU are STUNNING!
Blessings.

Californyinz

caitlyn jennerSay bye bye to Bruce.  Caitlyn Jenner has made her debut on what will be the July issue of Vanity Fair, shot by world-famous celebrity photographer, Annie Leibovitz.  Read more about it here.

I have a feeling this image will go more viral than Kim and Kanye’s debut on the cover of Vogue, and this magazine will outsell Kimye’s issue, as well. #CallMeCaitlyn

You can pick up this issue at newsstands on Tuesday, June 9.

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The Happening ~

We are all exactly where we “need to/should be”. Do your best to relax and “in-JOY” the right.

traciecarlos

th5XWCABMVI am dreaming so vividly… more conversations yet, no conversation….
feeling yet, there is nothing tangible to be felt.
Being swept into more, swirling…. yet nothing visible to be seen.
Allowing because it “feels” wonderful.
Clarity because I already “know” it, simply remembering…
Veils lifting because it is time/no time.

I have heard for a long time from various sources and teachers, this is to Be, we are to BEcome more, remember more, leaving behind those perceived restraints the ego/mind/society has imposed upon the Spirit. I have been drawn for more than a decade, of/to self discovery. In truth, I have always felt/known of this but for the first 30 years of my life, I tried suppress whatever was different about me to try to fit into the norm which resulted in depression and severe despair. Untangling those limitations others placed upon me which I took on as my…

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Constantly Learning…

13332765101022029060ocean_waves-wallpaper-1680x1050 We are constantly learning from our children whether we are consciously aware of it or not. This morning brought a wave of uncertainty as I observed one of our sons, he was either truly experiencing discomfort, or showing me he wanted attention by his actions. Parenting often feels like the ebb and flow of the ocean to me. I could feel myself going under a bit this morning, a day of extreme self-care is in order which means lowering my expectations of myself and others including our children. As I stay centered and focus upon this “now” moment, all is well. It is only as I contemplate the past, (what happened this morning) or as I worry about his future, I am dragged under. So, moment by moment, thought by thought, I will “choose” to stay in the NOW.

My love, Tracie